Belly Good Fun and the Timewarp

Lads and Laddettes.

(Imagine it being said in the style of a pirate and you are half way there!)

Welcome to a blog completely free of religious cartoons and mad Muslim clerics (for now!)

Here are some of the pictures from Friday night. I hope to have lots more on my photosite asap - (ie As soon as I've Photoshopped myself out of some of them!)

So where are we? Friday was one of those ‘functional’ days .

After my cycle, my shower and my post-exercie buzz - which I wish I could bottle - I had prescription to pick up, a note from the doc to say ‘Yes….Mark can use your gym for the next part of his rehab’ to give to GymoJodie.

I did feel like a little kid asking permission to do PE!

I had to do some stuff at Halifax. Its handy to have investments which ‘mature’ on Valentine’s Day and people’s birthdays. Its much easier to remember! Howard wasn’t there! I think Howard is like the ‘Ashley Blake’ of banking, he isn’t real and doesn’t do anything - and gets paid a lot.

(I really shouldn't say that as I am the subject of a TV INSIDE OUT documentary that will be presented by AB! )

It was the village Valentine Party at the village hall. My friend Caroline S came around about 7.30pm and by the time we arrived the venue was packed.

There were the sounds of the Hazel Slade Swing Band, a raffle, ‘stand up’ bingo (where you sit down if one of your numbers is called and the last one wins weekend at Hoar Cross Hall (health spa!) )

The highlight (apart from the copious amount of alcohol drunk) had to be the Belly Dancers, who were followed by a cheesy DJ who made us dance to The Timewarp, Saturday Night and the Macarena etc etc. It was like a dodgy wedding! I expected Peter Kay to start his act from Pheonix Nights.

Well we did do ‘Amarillo’. I never knew it has so many actions.

Oh I almost forgot. The buffet, done by John from Hoar Cross was magnificent! And the event raised more than 500 for the George Meredith Trust, the CF Trust and Cerebral Palsy.

Caroline and I sat on a table with Rach and Mike and their neighbours from Rugeley – wo all had funny laughs, perhaps its something to do with the Power Station?

I got introduced to WKD – a blue mixture of e-numbers and sugar, designed to make teenagers sick up on their parent’s pink carpets.

People kept giving me wine on the dance floor, meaning I had to drink it fast before I spilled it.

This is the first time I have danced since February 2002. FOUR YEARS. I am a crap dancer, but it was kind of fun to do it. And I did it because I CAN....

We walked home at 2ish and mum (the dirty stop out) didn’t come in till later. Never was so much coffee needed for so few.

I did manage my 8am cycle and enjoyed the numbness of Saturday morning TV before we picked up Caroline’s car from the hall and made our way home. She has a cool car. Perhaps I should consider buying one similar.

I met up with Louise for coffee at 3ish (Louisetime not normal time)…. Needless to say, the coffees, turned to Tia Marias and then to Snirnoff Ice (a new taste for me and one I could get TOO accustomed too)… I had a great time I think. I also bumped into Debbie B and Mick. ‘Hello!’ I do remember it cost £16 to get from my friends’ in Lichfield home in the taxi, just five miles.

AND a man at Apres kept spraying me in man-lotion-smelly-stuff and asking for money. He looked like Derek Griffiths, that black guy from Playschool, or Riachard Pryor I his younger days (before he was dead, obviously!)

Home at 2.30am-ish but up at 7.30am as had my gym induction with Gym-o-Jodie at 9am, then met up with the’usual suspects’ for lunchtime drinkies (I was on lemonade and coffee, but not together)

Afterwards I met up with Brian and Clare (who did Kilamonjaro and many of you I believe sponsored through this site)….I know you did because she told me!

As you can imagine, after she gave me a lift home Sunday arbo was spent in a state of sleep and regression Is this what rehab’s all about….?

Monday seemed to be spent form filling, photocopying and fact-finding. I still had my tracksuit on for most of the day so started to get a ‘chav’ mentality and ALMOST went to Wetherspoons and boughts some dodgy bling from a man in a shellsuit (not really!) And rumours I bought a 50 Cent album are TOTALLY UNFOUNDED (My lawyers are watching!)

I bumped into Andrea’s dad Ken at the gym on Tuesday. He is a good advert for the place. He looks like a man half his age (shhhhh don’t tell!) ‘Hello Ken and Dot’ lol…. Then I went to Cannock to collect my Beacon Radio ‘Prize’ from the shopping centre.

It turned out to be a big cuddly bear thingy and token to get two t-bone steaks from a Cannock butchers. So no guesses what I will be cooking tonight (NO NOT THE BEAR!) Not top notch winnings, but good for free. I thought I had won a meal for two at a restaurant. But at least I am in a draw for a holiday.

Cannock had its usual share of abnormals and strangeness. We sat in George and Bertie’s (a café) and played the 'normal or not' game, where we try to spot people who aren’t mentally defective in some way. I THINK I spotted one, but I may be mistaken.

I have got a couple of interesting features to write up. I have been in touch with a man who was evacuarted to Gentlesahw 60 years ago and have got to start thinking aboyut this talk I am giving at the ‘Quality Hotel’ in Brum in a few weeks.

Health wise I am coming along ok. Today I am due to stop another painkiller, another one crossed off my chart and I shall see if I have any ill effects.

I am still getting the side effects from the steroids and the cyclosporin and a little back painmbut I think the latter is the way I am sleeping to avoid rolling onto my chest..The main thing is to keep focussed on my exercising.

I can only really user the cardiovac section of the gym, like the treadmill and cycling machine....I can't risk stretching my chest musles too much. There is a lot of healing to be done first - (hence the high-protein diet!)

Tomorrow I am meeting up with French Nathalie, Ak and Eve. We were going to go to the cinema, but we decided that sinice we will need to have a good chin-wag it would be better to go and eat. So we are going to the Park Gate in Cannock Wood.

Since I have to be in Walsall on Thursday anyway, we may go to the cinema then. If we see anything good I will probably cash in and review it for ‘Ciao’ anyway!

Thanks for the e-mails, witty and relevant as ever.

To answer your questions…"No I’m not!” and “No I don’t have a sister, but if I did I would hope she would be a bit like you - but not so like you" oh and "Erik mate, I am still trying to get those Arctic Monkeys tickets and if I don’t see you before HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your good woman Dianaski".

Oh yes and Hannaski, keep wearing my little bracelet and may your world be covered in glitter - I think that’s all my dedications out of the way.

I am still looking for someone who is able to take a day off, or lives in London, and wants to join me on Channel 4’s The Wright Stuff. Let me know asap ok!

BURTON AND NEWCASTLE HAVE AGAIN MESSED UP MY BLOOD RESULTS BETWEEN THEM. THE ONE'S TAKEN ON FEB 3rd HAVE NOW GOt AWAL TOO! DOH! Piss up and brewery (couldn't organise a) comes to mind for Burton!

Next Sunday it’s Hello Sheffield! I am spending some time with Louisa, my former Sydney work-colleague and partner in crime on those Australian pool tables. So I may see one or two of you up there! Text me if you are around.

PS: Lets all hope the bill goes through parliament today to ban smoking from pubs!

Book: If I Was - Midge Ure
Music: Nirvana, John Lee Hooker, Moby, Kubb