Coffee and TV

Hello Blogerettes,

Wo.what a busy week! Claire and John from the BBC came down (and up respectively) to do some filming of my life Big Brother-style, which may or may not be used in a TV documentary series being put together for August.

They filmed me coming out of computer class, picking up my prescription, going to the newsagents, as well as me doing my nebulisers, physio and stuff in the house. The kids coming out of the local school were very interested! lol

It also gave me and my mum (and later perhaps my friends) a chance to talk (a lot) about my situation and the problems I face. I explain how it feels to be drowning in inner gunge and the frustration of watching everyone else getting on with their lives while I am treading water, unable to do much work or socialising and not even having the energy to cook a decent meal for myself blah blah blah blah……It might even make good TV….

Hey you know what I am looking forward to most…being able to sit down with a coffee and feeling comfortable…actually comfortable…

After they left (late….gosh these guys work very hard…) this) it made me think. I have got a lot of feelings on camera that people don’t know. These things will be on film now, even if they are not used, its almost as though I have something of me that will outlive me. It’s a comfort. I suppose this Mps diary I’m doing for Radio WM is a similar thing.

I think this is one of the reasons I am doing so much writing. I have written songs, poems, children’s stories, lots of letters, so many letters to friends since going on the list.

It’s nice to think there is something of me in cyberspace, on music discs, on pages, that people can enjoy or learn about me from. Perhaps this is really selfish.

Music: Kaiser Chiefs, The Dears, Babyshambles