Breath Of Life

The life and times of Mr Mark Allen....

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

BB Dissected

Hiya Folks,

Well its all over...and it is a really strange feeling. I had been building up to the 'Big Brother' thing for ages.

But runner-up ain't bad. Especially as I was the runaway leader utill Kerry was evicted and her supporters started voting for Emma....Is this how politicians feel?

The sociology of it all would make somebody a good dissertation! (Or even a book!)

I escaped almost immediately to Suffolk where I had quality time with the kittens...(and Auntie Jen/Uncle Allan) and caught up with some writing work.... I visited Southwold Audeburgh(!?)and Norwich - didn't run into Alan Partidge or The Darkness!

The reality hit me again when I was in Burntwood this afternoon and a really good-looking girl said she had been watching me in the house......a friend of Frankie (although I can't remember who Frankie was!) Fame sucks eh?

I lose count of the number of autographs I signed too! It is all so surreal. All I did was live in a 'house' for five days. I didn't even win!

So what was it like in the Green Dream? (Oh yes....See all the pictures at http://groups/msn.com/marksucks

In the bandstand in which we were like goldfish under constant viewing for a week, we had fish to look after, it was an irony not lost on us ‘Green Dream’ers.

The advantage we had was not forgetting where we were after every three seconds. Although as alcohol and cabin fever took its toll, days and people’s names did merge.

After four nights of little sleep in cramped confinement, I did look in the mirror and ask myself if I was Mark, John, David, Emma-Jane or Kerry! (Ideas on a postcard please!)

When I went along, with other hopefuls to the audition for the Green Dream, Cannock’s eco-friendly answer to Big Brother, I had little conception of what it would be like.

What made me foolish enough to put myself up for a glorified popularity contest, with the ego at risk of a serious battering if people didn’t text to keep me in?

Although we were all winners in the fact we had beaten 350 people to get into the house in all honesty I would have been devastated to be voted out early on.

I had been a ‘green’ kind of person – and that’s not just between my toes! - I lived with a Thai tribe, living off the land and had always tried to support local organic farmers.

Once, when living in Australia, even went out with a girl who belonged to Greenpeace! So I thought a week of testing my green-credentials would be interesting and fun.

With my well-publicised double lung-transplant this kind of event was something I couldn’t have dreamed of entering just six months ago.

I was apprehensive though. I knew the two girls chosen for the house knew each other; and the other two men were people I would probably not have met outside the artificial community of the house. It was going to be a bizarre social experience. Life condensed in eco-friendly nutshell – a bit like an organic soap opera - acted out for real.

‘Life Thru A Lens’ as Staffordshire’s favourite son Robbie might say. Perhaps another Robbie song ‘Let Me Entertain You’ would be more appropriate as we felt sometimes like zoo animals performing for our food - with DJ Jimmy Franks our lord and master!

I listened to the others being interviews on Radio WM and read with interest their profiles in The Mercury; I also ‘Google’d them to find clues about their character.

So I had pre-conceived ideas about what they would be like and who I would find it easer to get on with and who I wouldn’t. I also tried unsuccessfully to predict the ‘tasks’.

As the days got closer, my friends were split into two groups. Those who thought I was stupid and those who thought I was mad.

The week before the event I had been to a friend’s 30th in Newcastle-upon-Tyne and then a ‘Transplant Ball’ also in the North East and acquired two kittens. Not the best prep.

But I printed out the council’s recycling policy and read as much as I could on green issues on the train and in various cafes and bars in Newcastle. I was going in prepared.

But when I woke up on Monday morning with a hangover and a small bag, in which I had to fit enough clothes to last a week. I was excited, but nervous and in need of detox!

When we were picked up one-by-one in a Tipton Fire Engine – I had predicted a dustcart – and I got to meet my fellow band mates for the first time everyone was a bit nervous.

This made me feel better as I felt at once we were all in the same boat (or big red vehicle) and were all in it for a good time (a relief!)

I think it really hit me when I was the first called out of the engine and onto the stage, in front of hundreds of screaming Cannock folk. This was it. It was now or never.

I was amazed how Tardis-like the converted bandstand was. It seemed so much bigger on the inside than the outside. It had five camp beds, a sofa, cooking facilities and toilets.

We had running water (although this was temperamental and rarely hot) and a heater (although this arrived on day 2, was gas and couldn’t be left on at night.)

The fish, who we named Bob and Michelle after the organisers took it all in their stride. But they had forgotten where they were by then again so everything was continually new and exciting (except when Michelle died on day two!)

Our first real task was certainly an icebreaker, having pop-star costumes to fit into. I was Tina Turner and it mad us all instant extroverts on a rain-swept stage. My real worry was slipping and falling into the crowd or splitting Kerry’s mini-skirt!

Despite the appalling weather Cannock fold really warmed to us and made us welcome. In fact for the whole experience we had very few boos or bitchy comments – a total contrast to the real ‘BB’ on Channel 4!

The tasks were wide and varied and included aerobics, dressed in leotards - strangely (or not) the lads were much less embarrassed than the girls to wear these; making costumes from rags to wear to a ‘Captains Cocktail Party; writing a ‘green’ soap opera, based on Cannock folk and learning children’s books.

We also had to do self-portraits and read the news (adding a few eco-extras for effect!)
We had to place different town on the map, nominate member of the public to slide down an inflatable slide with water and crush cans and bend balloons while dressed as clowns.

Just another day at the office for this reporter then!
We felt the extra text given for our performance in the tasks were giving out at random. In the map competition John got the same points as me for getting nowhere near to the target and Emma, who clearly deserved to win the drawing competition was never told!

Personally I felt hard done by in the tasks, but this just meant I had to rely on the ‘real’ votes from the public, which was a much better test of support anyway.

But the main aim was to live inside the house in an eco-friendly way surviving on limited food, water, gas and clothes and recycling what we could (including in my case old ‘jokes’) and sleep (we were live on the radio 10.30pm at night and 6.30am)

There were shocks, like evictions of Thursday, at which the two with the lowest public support, Kerry and David, were shown the door and twists, like having to award 100 bonus texts to another housemate and nominating a housemate each for eviction.

But we did manage to turn the tables on the organisers somewhat by pretending on Wednesday we didn’t get on and three of us were threatening to walk out after a night when our water was turned off and we had limited supplies.

It was the only way we could pull back some power and leverage for ourselves in the good-natured mind-games we were having with the organisers.

They got their own back, piping ‘Happy Talk’ on continuous loop into the house the following morning. (Thanks to audio-boffin Merve ‘The Swerve’ for that!)

The most frustrating part of the house for me was the countdown to the tasks as it would be announced ’30 minutes to the arrival of the band stand mates’ down to five minutes.

By that time the often-bemused crowds would be there waiting and we just wanted to be out there, strutting around inside the ‘house’ like peacocks on speed.

An amazing thing happened in the house, which surprised me as much as the others in the bandstand. We really appreciated each other’s qualities and weaknesses.

Three of us were complete strangers (I think having five complete strangers would have been a better concept) but we all got on like a proverbial house on fire. (We were given extinguisher just in case we took it too literally!)

The two girls who did know each other did not ‘team up’ like I imagined they might while they were both inside and everyone seemed to have a good heart-to-heart chat with everyone else several times during the event. We were gelling better than David’s hair!

We chatted about our pre-conceived ideas of what a model, receptionist, former RAF bod, journalist and shop worker would be and found them totally wanting!

Another amazing thing happened outside the house. We had people coming back morning, noon and evening outside to lend us support.

These were not sad, bored people, but people who seemed to relate to us and felt they knew us – even asking for our phone numbers when we came out.

Sometimes we felt like monkeys at a zoo, performing for food. But at others it was the people outside who performed with their sign language and gestured and had us in hysterics – especially the nights we were given alcohol.

Certain people, who the general public may have looked as ‘backward’ or ‘simple’ showed how loyal and friendly Cannock people can be. This was a major positive I took out the house with me and will cherish.

Several offered to sneak us in extra food (of course we were always too honourable to accept - and the security was too clever!)

I think we all gained a sense of community in the house. With everyone pulling together to help with the tasks. Despite what people had told me about the housemates, nobody was egotistical when it came to helping and everybody was equal.

In fact it was the kind of situation the hippy communes in the 60s were built on – although I expect the ‘crusties’ smelled better than us – we had no showers!

One evening they took our furniture, clock, fruit and most of the matches away. We thought we would know the time by counting the ‘bongs’ on the church clock – but it was bell-ringers practice that night and there were more clangers than a Prince Phillip speech.

The last morning was really tense with Emma, John and myself feeling warm that people liked us enough to vote for us in droves but nervous about who would win.

It was a lot better doing it that way that having one evicted each day. For four days we really had the chance to build up friendships and bond.

In fact all of us, with the obvious exception of John who was in Stafford Hospital, met up for drinks immediately after the end of the contest (after we had signed autographs!)

What amazed me most when I arrived home was the e-mails and texts I had had over the week from complete strangers who had voted for me daily and people who had recognised me from the papers. People had even put notes through my door and stopped my friends in the pub or in the street to give me their best wishes.

Other people had voted for me because they read my columns in papers, magazines and on the internet, knew me from university or recognised me from TV, radio or had attended one of my talks on life before and after transplantation.

I am sure this happened to all the other contestants too which just goes to show what a high profile event this became and how it lifted Cannock’s profile nationwide.

BBC TV and Central covered the event as well as Radio WM and all the local newspapers and I had messages via my website from all over the country.

I think it was definitely an advantage being one of the two ‘well-known’ people in the house (although all felt like bona fida celebs for a few days!)

It was interesting that the people who seemed to have the most banners up for them from family and sponsors, were eliminated first. Perhaps not all publicity is good publicity!

A rival newspaper put a curse on the housemates. In hindsight this was pretty sick in light of John actually having to go to hospital with chest pains.

That was the low point for not only John but also Emma and myself in the house because we saw how John bravely was more concerned about not letting people down than for his own welfare.

This showed an honourable streak and dedication to duty that obviously made him the credit to the RAF he obviously was. But it brought us all closer.

This threatened to end the event on a downer and hit all our families hard, as nobody outside the house knew which one of us was ill and what was wrong.

I must admit I was flagging by the end and felt more of the extrovert nature put on for the public was forced in the last day. I think we just all needed a shower and good sleep.

The recycling bins inside the house needed emptying and the bedding was beginning to smell too – as were various armpits and bodily functions!

The toilets were surprisingly clean by the end, despite the efforts of the security guards who seemed to have definite bladder and bowel issues! (Just joking guys!)

But I think everybody inside and outside the house gained a lot of knowledge on recycling issues and living organically.

The event was also a real boost for Cannock. Personally I think it would be better as a one-off and a different event is needed next year to keep up the momentum.

One of the little lads who came along to support us every day had the idea of turning the bandstand into a permanent eco-café! If this happens I hope he is offered a Saturday job!

A big thanks must go to Bob and Michelle, the brains behind the Green Dream and to ‘showbiz personality’ Jimmy Franks (we knew him as ‘Davina’ who really put the hours in behind the scenes as well as fronting the event.)

I think the only downside was the some of the sponsors who either didn’t get behind their candidate or in one case got behind her too much and complained when she didn’t win. The song 'Can't Buy Me Love' comes to mind.

Some of the theory wasn’t always put into practice by people like ASDA who provided organic food, but it has been flown and shipped in from Egypt, Holland and Spain.

But these were teething problems in a well-run and polished event. If it makes people think before they buy and makes them more eco-aware it has done its job.

One also couldn’t have asked for a more deserved winner than Emma-Jane – which helped make defeat palatable!

I feel privileged, as I will also take away friendships that although fostered in an artificial environment are undoubtedly real. I also have a new empathy with goldfish!


Feel free to e-mail me on MAIL
For all the news from the house CLICK

Music: Andy Bell ‘Crazy’…Dirty Pretty Things ‘ Bang..’
Momus: ‘Little Red Song Book’


britauction.co.uk (my new sponsor)

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home